We're done, we're over!!! So please give them back and let us both be free of each other!!!

***

We're apart like this... I can't deny the words you've given me.

This isn't denial... but why do I feel somehow, deep in my heart, that we're supposed to be together? I tried to shake it for so long. I've tried so hard to put you away. But this nagging feeling won't go away. It doesn't even go away when I tell myself "He doesn't love you."

God, please.

Make it go away.

Someone please explain this to me. I'm so irritated.

So, it's been more than a month apart, a couple of weeks since we "officially" broke up. In my mind though, we were over the day he called for that break...

Anyhow, I had a photoshoot done during the summer. I paid a big amount of money for it, and he ended up getting the pictures. Now, I don't care about the other things I've given him... But the photos are the only thing I'm after. I was discussing it with my co-workers and my mom, and both said that I should get those photos back! So, I got my best friend, who is also friends with my ex's sister, to talk to her about it and get the photos back for me. This way, neither of us have to deal with him directly... This is basically what happened:

Clarissa

Hey Carmela!
Did you go to the Marianas Trench concert? I went Monday!! It was so awesome >< How have you been?

I was wondering if you could ask your bro if he still had the pictures Jen gave him as a present. Could you please get them from him because Jennifer wants them back. You can call me on my cell. Thanks. =)

Carmela

Ack. He isn't talking to me. I'll try asking him again in some other discreet way.

I was at the Mtrench Monday concert too. I didn't see you. Waa. I'm super busy. I'm running 3 different sports teams, and I play on 5 teams. ^o^ And there's school.

I hope you're well. Take care. ♥

Clarissa

O ok Thanks so much. Jen really wants them back.
Thats too bad we missed each other. I would have called you if I had your number. How did you like the show?

Carmela

Hi sweetie. It looks as if it'll take me a while to get the pictures from him. I hope he hasn't disposed of them. I haven't been able to really talk to him about it. He ain't going near the topic. :S I'll keep trying. We gotta be patient I guess. Methinks a good opportunity to ask him straightforwardly will arise.

I found the show disappointing 'cause Josh's voice was shot from performing the night before. The good thing was getting to hear Matt sing more than usual. :) The opening acts were fantastic, eh? I love Carly. She and Josh had such adorable duets. She didn't perform her two most popular songs as well as she did at the last Mtrench concert. O well. XD How did you like the show?

 

I'm so pissed!!! I'm not dealing with him directly! And plus, why is he avoiding the topic? If he doesn't have them anymore, why doesn't he just say so?

Why is he doing this? We're over, all he has to do is give them back!!!

My guy friends say that since he's avoiding the topic, and not returning those pictures, they said he's probably not as happy without me as he says he is.

Insight? Please? I'm dying here. What do I do? I paid $400 for those pictures!!!!

***

It's your birthday today. We're finally the same age, for a month at least. I had a lot of plans.... It makes me sad I never got to go through with them. Do you remember last year? When you came over from work to find I cooked for you, and made you a surprise cake? Doesn't mean anything now does it?

I guess it's been a tough week for me, because I knew today was coming up... and the fact I can't be there with you is so hard on me. I really miss you. It's hard to believe that even after all the BS you've put me through, I still love you.

But it happened. I can't do anything anymore.

Happy birthday bhey. I love you.